Putting the toys away

My kids are a constant contradiction to me in what roles we are meant to play in each others lives.
Parents are meant to be the role model, teachers and carer's in their children's lives and our offspring, the recipients of our wisdom, life experience and most importantly our love.
But my kids frequently turn the tables on me.

I had kids later than most in life but now see that as a huge advantage. I think I've nailed it down to one thing, I was ready for them.....
What I didn't expect was the fantastic journey of discovery it would be for all of us, and I think I'm learning as much as they are if not more.

I think we are universally selfish beings evidenced by the greed and plunder of the planet, the unacceptable level of child abuse in our country and the lack of regard there is for human life virtually every where we humans habitate. And lets not suggest that selfishness stops when you have kids but I think they provide a welcome diversion if you allow them to.
Where am I going with this?
The kids arrived and suddenly it was time to put away the childish toys and attitudes that pervade our lives as the huge responsibility of raising kids loomed. I suddenly felt I had to grow up and set aside those things that I hadn't achieved or stifle the creative parts of me that languished under the pressures of work, family and life in general. And bugger me, life does have a habit of throwing the odd curve ball at you, and sometimes they all arrive in little groups of life changing crises .... relentless in their efforts to unsettle you and steer you in directions you never thought imaginable.
But life is a journey, not a destination as the saying goes and my 2 dwarf's are a constant reminder of that.
I tweeted a while ago about my 3 year old daughter eating a Tamarillo for the first time. Not a big deal by world standards but I was able to sit there and take the time to watch her face as she experienced something for the first time. Wow.. how cool to watch the facial expressions and smiles as we sat there at the table discovering things together.
Kids have that untainted ability to live in the now without fear of consequence or self consciousness. An ability to laugh and laugh and laugh, to play, to sing, to act and express themselves through whatever medium is at hand.
It takes an effort for us as we get older to lose those inhibitions and to have the 'now' moments, to dance like a nutter in the lounge, to not be too perturbed at turning up to work with the remnants of finger nail polish your daughter has plastered you with and to enjoy the limp from the torn leg muscles after racing the kids down the beach.
Living in the now is not something we do by nature.... life just isn't structured that way as an adult, but it has its merits.

The now moments come thick and fast with children because all they really want is you.
It took me a while and a lot of wasted money to discover that all the best toys don't mean diddly if you don't join in and play.

The now moments are subtle too, you don't always know that the 'Daaaaaaad' that you hear 27,000 times a day will lead to the coolest little moment. Stopping, listening and most of all smiling at your child's discovery is all they seek. Whilst I've been writing this Ella has been at my side drawing caterpillars. I've lost my train of thought a million times but can't help to admire how far she's come in what she draws and how she expresses herself.

As we continue on our journey of self discovery I'm getting to know myself more and more, unlocking those parts of me I thought I had put away and to offer my children more of what they want...... me.

Things my kids have taught me:

Laugh.... more
Paint washes off
So does dirt, sand and mud
Cars can survive sticky lollies, drinks and milkshakes
I dance like a nutter
I can cry with joy
The amount of poo is disproportionate to body size
Life isn't always about caution and consequences
Naps are good
Love is unconditional
You can love someone so much it aches
The promise of Ice cream gets things done

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I hugged a tree yesteday....

I hugged a tree yesterday, no shit... I really did.

I was outside in the late evening just taking in the peace and quiet after the bedlam of kids, dinner and bath time’s. The water was still, there was no wind and I was enjoying a ciggie... (yeah yeah I know)

I was alone with my thoughts and just had one of those mini epiphanies where you realise how beautiful this country is and what a lucky bastard I am.

I was just recalling the snuggle Jack had given me and the smile on his face as I'd kissed him goodnight. Was feeling warm and fuzzy and then it started to rain. It was that light rain that's just enough to nudge people along rather than waiting for the shower to pass but I wasn't getting wet.

Beside me was a large palm tree that I'd walked past a million times and grumbled at for dropping its leaves all over the deck.

It had recently lost a major branch due to some bad weather, poor thing had taken quite a battering, but there it was, sheltering me from the rain which was threatening my ‘moment’ with the world.

I looked up at the branches and wondered how long this big sucker had been there. Being unfamiliar with the life span of Palm trees I figured it was maybe at least as old as me. At that given moment that tree was my best buddy and he needed to know it. He’d given me a few more minutes outside with my micro epiphany.

I stood there for a moment and then actually asked it quietly "what have you seen in your lifetime sitting in the same place for all those years."

I’d heard that plants and trees respond to music and positive influences ie ‘tree hugging’ so I thought …. What the heck, he’s given me something, the Karmic part of me decided to give him a hug … so I did. 

I stood there for a few moments hoping no one had seen me hugging my tree, leaning on the old boy; hand on its trunk having one of those awkward blokey post hug moments and felt at peace with the world.

In the middle of the turmoil that is my life, I met a tree yesterday, he’s likes the odd hug and a wee chat and I think we’ll talk some more……

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Happiness within Fragility

I came across a website recently (www.fragilekids.com) which reminded me what a darn lucky life I've had so far.. (personal stuff-ups aside).

I didn't want to use the word 'blessed' because I still have a few issues to sort out with the big guy and the rationale behind an apparent warped sense of humour this whole God thing has.

I was born with OI Osteo Genesis Imperfecta or a condition more commonly known as 'Brittle Bones.'

Now you might think ..you poor bastard.. but you'd be dead wrong. It has its upsides.... being known as one of the original X Men is kinda cool .. having a mutated gene gives one a unique point of difference amongst a populace of uniformly normal individuals. Be wary, we are among you living and waiting for our day.

To my parents eternal credit, they picked up stix and emigrated from the UK to New Zealand thinking that the climate and lifestyle here would be better for my two fellow sisterly mutants. (I came along a bit later) ...They were right.

We led a fantastic life running around the countryside and beaches of provincial New Zealand in Dads assorted company cars ... (go the HQ holden).

In saying that we also developed an intimate relationship with the various A&E departments of the cities we frequented as invariably one of us would bust a leg or arm jumping off cliff faces or speeding down driveways on our home built go karts.

It always amazed me, the calm response my Mother maintained when one of her kids was lying in a heap with limbs at angles they weren't designed to be. "Go ring your Father and tell him he needs to come home" was normally the first thing uttered to the uninjured siblings whilst splints and slings were arranged accordingly for the injured party.

We were then bundled into Dads car for the bouncy and painful trip to Hospital to wait 6 hours for some bright spark Doctor to tell Mum, "I think he's broken a bone"

I always wondered if my Mum coined the phrase "No Shit!" as it was frequently used in front of Tauranga's medical professionals.

I once worked out that I've spent a solid 4 years of my 40 years in a plaster cast of some form and had so many X-rays my aura has a half-life of ten thousand years.

When you're born with something, you don't know any different so our fragility was just an accepted thing. A few rules were established for our benefit like no rugby, no ice skating, no horse riding and no skiing.

Over the years, my sisters and I have accomplished all of our banned activities with the exception of rugby... (Jo and Ange just didn't take to it) with the odd mishap here and there.

One such mishap of mine unfortunately happened whilst I was skiing with a friend of mine who was a cameraman for one of the National News Channels.

The nasty wee man filmed a nice little news segment of me arriving at the field hospital on a rescue sled after breaking my leg jumping off a 'small' ledge. Unfortunately it was the channel my parents watched every night and my attempt to have a 'quiet wee break' was undone.

Having OI takes on a completely different face when you have children as there is a 50% chance that any of your offspring will inherit the condition. When we had Ella, I knew fairly early that she had it.

She's made it to almost 4 years old now and only had 3 fractures, she knows she's got 'glass' bones as she calls it and it worries the life out of me when I see her climbing trees and running around with her brothers knowing at any time she could do what I did so many times.

As a father you naturally want to keep your kids safe from pain and suffering and its such a temptation to wrap them up in cotton wool and protect them from danger, but I'm reminded about what I learnt from the pain, the process and the people along the way.....

Make the most of every day, your situation is better than you think, and life MUST be enjoyed even if some of it is covered in plaster of paris.

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The Best Junk Email I've got this year...

I get a lot of junk through my inbox like most of you, but there are a few gems amongst the crap that give you a giggle or stop you in your tracks, this was one of the latter. Very 'world visionish' but poignant nonetheless. After getting burgled in the last fortnight and ranting my gonad's off at the lack of interest from Plod over the theft of virtually every electronic device in the house the abhorrent invasion of my privacy, and the fact that my plasma T.V is sitting in the living room of some low life P addicted #spazztard .. I came to the stunning realisation that .. I actually haven't 'missed' any of the stuff that was taken.

Sure.. apart from the inconvenience caused and a few irreplaceable items like videos and digital pictures that went with the Laptop and back up drive.. (yes they took both.. Grrrr) - Life has gone on and in some ways improved.

• The kids are engaged in imaginative playtime, they have a distinct distaste for watching High Five on a 14" telly.
• Apart from their screams of "waaahhh i had that first" and "Daaaad... Jacks drawing on the wall" - its kinda peaceful without the digital noise pollution.
• We talk more... yes that's a bonus
• Less time spent on the net = more time with family
  

The email i got which contained the following content was just another reminder of all the junk we fill our lives with and when some of the stuff that we think is important is stripped away.. it ain't so bad.

The best thing about today.... being alive and thankful.

If you think you are unhappy... it could be worse

If you think your salary is low.........

If you think you don't have many friends...

When you feel like giving up........

If you think you work hard for your money....

If you complain about your public transport system....

If your society is unfair to you.......

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#BTAT #Spazztards and lightbulb moments

I started my first blog with a personal view of twitter and my experiences to date but soon figured... who cares. The 'interweb' is full of e reviews and opinions which nobody reads.

Instead I thought I'd share my little contribution to the phenom we know as the 'twittersphere'.

Its already chocka block full of sub 140 character luminous brainfarts ranging from the mundane to the lightbulb moments we all get sometimes..... here's one more....

Last night I read with some glee about the plans of @sarahprout to write someones twitter handle on her forehead and broadcast it to her 13,000 followers for a small fee. The price of twitter fame can be accurately calculated at the ebay auction being held for the rental of a popular forehead.... don't miss out.. #Followfridays are an institution on twitter.

Then I stumbled across 3 kiwi students (@teamellen) who innocently twittered themselves into global fame over the Ellen show and found themselves whisked off to LA and dumped in the middle of her show unexpectedly. Watching the you tube vids made me feel all warm and fuzzy thinking about how a little soc.net. platform like twitter can have such positive effects on people. When I say positive, i mean being flown to LA, put up in a kick arse hotel suite and meeting all your hero's / infatuations. (if that's what tickles yer pickle)

This now draws me to #spazztards and #BTAT ...

As far as I can tell, the world owes the term #spazztard to @cjlambert - an Auckland based marketing guru who coined the phrase in her usual eloquence - see her blog here, its worth a read http://cjlambertlive.blogspot.com/

I determined that the discovery of the word #spazztard was the best thing that happened to me that day... its just one of those words that given the right usage and application, will go far in describing those that we consider not necessarily a positive influence on the human gene pool.

Taking my joyous little discovery one step further, I thought why not share my nugget of literary gold with the world. So I did... one of the last posts of the day for me was my glee in learning a new noun (cjlambert will no doubt be adding a descriptive definition for submission to the good ole Oxford)

Here's the idea fellow tweeps.... Why not - in your last post of the day head up the post with #BTAT and your Best thing about the day. The world needs more positivity out there so why not share those little golden moments that we have each day. I'll keep an eye on the best ones of the day and RT them & post them here.

Go on.. you know you want to.

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